uh oh...

Fun fact: Apparently when a rabbit is ready to give birth they get all sorts of bonkers and pull their own fur out. I guess I am part rabbit because while I am not ready to give birth, apparently there is something of the baby nature cooking in my lady parts! How exciting and scary all at the same time! I’m about 5 weeks along, or nearing that from what I can calculate, and things are definitely feeling different. It makes a lot of sense why I have been having so much trouble sleeping and a few other odd body and brains things. From having to kick caffeine to not being able to eat cold cuts or have my delicious evening cocktails, this lady is going to get cranky.

For some reason I have it in my head that all life is going to get very boring until this kid (should everything stick) gets out. Not that life will be super-duper exciting once it’s all out and in the real world, but I feel like I’ll gain somewhat autonomy back. Then I worry that I am delusional. What am I thinking that life will go back to normal or even better? What have we got ourselves into? I realize that this is probably pretty normal thinking, but people will tell you that you haven’t made a mistake. That a child is the best thing that can completely change your life. That even though there will be a lot of times where you really have the situation to say “what the hell did I do”, a smile or giggle will make it all go away and life will be blissful again. But I like my life. I like that I can go and do and drink and have fun whenever I want. Is that all done now? Especially because we have no family out here to be able to pawn the rugrat off on while we have adult time. I don’t want to move back just because we have no family here. I love it here and love everything about my house, the community, the weather, everything!

I feel like there should be a brutally honest book out there called “I’m pregnant. What was I thinking! My life is over?!?” Maybe there is.. to the Google Machine!