Mind Racer

Well the concert was super amazeballs. Aside from the queen and his two hags behind us who, I swear, firmly believed that they were just as amazing as the band and therefore should sing at the top of their lungs in intimate moments, everything was great. I find myself getting super annoyed pretty quickly so I tried to let the water roll off this duck’s back. Once the band actually came out and started playing, I really didn’t even notice that I wasn’t able to drink. The only thing that reminded me was the fantastic lower back pain that crept in towards the end of the show.

This week will be 6 weeks-ish. I’ve been reading a great book that breaks the whole pregnancy thing out by weeks and I went ahead and kept going beyond the week 6 that we are at currently. In week 7 or 8 they really start talking about the different types of miscarriage. There is even a type of miscarriage that can happen without any bleeding. It could just be a dead little thumbtack floating around in there. If it is then it is, but with the impending trip back to the motherland during week 8 I just really would rather know if it still alive in there or if it is not. If it’s still alive, great! I know that there are another 4 weeks until we would be more confidently out of the woods but heading back knowing that I’m not carrying a dead floaty thing would really be great. I think I’m going to try and call the doctor’s office Monday and see if there is any sort of test they can do to see if it is not dead before we leave in two and a half weeks. I know the first real prenatal doctor’s appointment takes a long time, but maybe there is something they can do to ease my mind just for the trip home. I know that they say that only 20% of women miscarry but if something is going to go wrong, I for some reason really think it will.

We went for a hike today because the weather was super amazing and we took lots of breaks and made sure that I wasn’t going to overdo it. It was a good day in the woods and as soon as we got home I completely felt like someone had unplugged the energy juice. Between the exhaustion, reading to be prepared, no more antiflipthefuckout pills, and thinking about the trip back home, I think that my mind is overdoing it. But I still think I am going to call the doctors first thing in the morning.