Thursday, May 22, 2014

Real Brains and Fake Brains

I called the doctor’s office first thing on Monday and they were able to move up my first prenatal appointment to June 3rd, which is the day before we leave to head back to the east coast. Exciting stuff! That made me sooo happy all day Monday and Tuesday!

Cut to Tuesday night and we are getting ready to settle down and watch some TV and eat some yummy beef and broccoli tater tot casserole and sure enough we have spotting. My logical brain knew that this was bound to happen and that I shouldn’t freak out. Hormonal Ramona over here though can’t keep the logical side together and I’m balling. I do not cry. Hardly ever do I cry. So that was not cool and was upsetting me even more that I couldn’t pull my shit together. I figured because it was light spotting and hadn’t progressed I wouldn’t worry because that can be totally normal… until I got woken up in the middle of the night by some pretty serious cramping. From everything that I’ve read, that cannot be good so I let him continue to sleep and suffer through the discomfort for about 15 minutes until it goes away and I can sleep again. I wake up yesterday and there is still some cramping and spotting but not nearly as bad, but to be safe I call the doctor’s office again. They want to see me fairly immediately. We get in the car and head through tornado alley that decided to descend upon downtown and head for our ultrasound and exam. During the ultrasound we see a gestational sack but nothing in there. Zip. Zero. Zilch. I’m not upset because by this time I’ve finally got my brains back and fully expected to see what it was that I saw. What I didn’t expect was for them to tell me that I’m probably only 5 weeks and not 6 and that since I’m an irregular ovulator anyway that it probably all connected later than sooner in the cycle. They also find some fibroid tumors, which are completely benign and most likely causing the spotting. No biggie… except that there should be some sort of yolk sack inside that gestational sack and we’ve got nothing. Doc says it happens to 1 in every 5 women, at least, that she sees and to focus on the fact that at least I was finally able to get pregnant.

Moral of the story is that we wait. Apparently, with the size of the gestational sack, it is entirely possible that I have a late bloomer in there and that in another week we could do another ultrasound and see that yolk sack that we are looking for. There is also a good… no, high… probability that it never got that far and we have a ‘missed pregnancy’ and it will require a lovely D&C. Again, now that I have my normal brain back, I’m not actually worried. I go back again next Thursday and we’ll do another ultrasound. If nothing grew, nothing grew. There are at least a few upsides to this:

1.       I was able to get pregnant finally so chances of the next one happening soon and sticking are much much better
2.       Something could actually be growing in there and we can figure out a better idea of what is taking the damn thing so long
3.       If it was a miscarriage, we can get the D&C taken care of before we head back to the east coast
4.       If I have to get the D&C at least I’ll be able to know for sure and not be wondering what to tell people when we head back there during a wedding and what not – and I may be able to have a cocktail or two!


Today I am still pretty crampy and uncomfortable. It’s not painful, just uncomfortable and I have had the same spotting as I have had (even a little lighter) than Tuesday night. No real blood or tissue or anything to say for sure that it is over. As long as my real brains continue to be keeping control of things, I think we are still in a good place. 

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