One of the many no-no’s of pregnancy, among the obvious no drinking,
smoking, snorting coke, or injecting heroin are that you are not allowed to
have more than 200mg of caffeine a day, you can’t eat fish soaked in mercury
and you are not allowed to have deli meats and soft cheeses unless they are
both super warm and melty. Since I do not frequent the habit of any of the smoking/snorting/injecting/anyfish
in general, the only things that really cut to the core of my being are the
aforementioned drinking, caffeine, and deli meats and glorious cheeses.
Apparently they worry about you picking up some sort of
listeriosissalmonellamakeyoubarfakillyourkida type disease from nasty fillers
and stuff associated with cold meats. My doctor told me that it was because of
a handful of idiots that probably left a bologna sandwich out on a summer day
and then ate it and got super sick while cooking a kiddo of their own that they
had to publish it in a medical study and make docs all “buyer beware” on our
asses. He laughed and told me that in all his years (and from the looks of him
that had been SEVERAL) he has never ever ever seen someone get sick from deli
meats eaten while preggo. BUT, since it was published in a study somewhere, he
had to tell me for legal don’t-sue-me reasons. Fair enough.
I decided, with a glimmering moment of logical brain
returning, that since the baby is the most vulnerable to a disappearing act in
the first 3 months, I would avoid all such no-no’s until we got the all clear
that everyone is hunky dory. Well that moment came last week. And I being the
super duper lazy preggo lacking any and all sorts of motivation that is
possible that I am, didn’t go to the store until this past weekend. Well I decided
that I was not leaving with my Boar’s Head Deluxe Ham. I showed some restraint
by only getting a half pound because I figured that would be two sandwiches by
the time that it went bad. I went home that night and made homemade white
sandwich bread. I give you my glorious turnanyfrownupsidedown lunch.
No, I didn’t drink the entire bottle of soda… only half.
Yes, that is a lot of Cheese-It’s.
No, I don’t care.
It was GLORIOUS.
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