Cool kids

A little big problem...

My problem is myself. I completely acknowledge that it is in my  head. I understand the fact that I need to not care about what others think of me, to a certain extent, and that I need to be confident in myself and not worry about what other people are saying about me. I get that how I portray myself, especially with regards to how I present how I feel outwardly about myself, is ultimately how people will see me. You are what you project. I think that it is an awesome truth for people who can truly believe what they put out for the world to see. I am in the 'fake it till you make it' mode and just can't get on board with myself. My entire life of insecurity around the cool kids follows me around and I feel as though I cannot escape that stigma. I'm not cool. In at least eighty percent of my life I don't care that people don't think that I am cool. But... there is the same high school academic achievement popularity that makes me always want to be part of the cool kids. The athletic kids and the smart kids ended up forming a weird alliance that no one tells you about in high school where you end up forever feeling like you get picked last for kickball. It blows. And that's how I feel. 

I'm glad I don't live here all the time. Can you imagine the even worse headcase I would be? Oy...