On The Road Again... Post Baby Edition

First trip post-baby is now officially in the books. A little work and a little play made for a very nice trip. I felt like I had a solid 80% of my shit together when I went in for the work meeting and promptly felt nicely overwhelmed with all the follow up and crazy background stuff that goes along with a meeting that goes well for new sales opportunities. I know that I will get better and back to feeling like I have a handle on my life soon, but for now the thought of the amount of attention work takes and the amount of attention the baby takes is exhausting the little hamster running on his wheel inside my head. Yet that little asshole doesn't seem to get tired enough to let me fall asleep and re-energize his little energizer self.

A night in Madison, WI with laughs, great company, great beer, great cheese, and beautiful views of their scenic capital building proved to be just what the doctor ordered to ease back into the work thing. Trying extremely hard not to talk about mommy things and all things baby, I found that it didn't take as much of a conscious effort as I thought it was going to.

After a fun night I found myself back in my room trying to fall asleep and feeling how refreshing it was to hang out in person again with people that get me. I don’t feel like I have any of those girl pals that I can say that I am that relaxed around quite yet at home. I have friends who are neighbors and another girl who is more like me in the sense that she’s not afraid of bringing her baby along to the mall and stopping for lunch that includes a beer or two, but for some reason I haven’t been comfortable enough with anyone to really let go. None of them have done anything to really make me think that they would go screaming for the hills if I really just opened up but I think I’m still going to take my time before I let the freak flag fly. That makes me sound far more interesting as a person than I really am. And in writing this, it has occurred to me that it is actually maybe the point – I’m afraid that they will realize I am not funny and kinda boring. I long for ways to make myself more interesting even to just myself and not taking outside people into account. Hubby would say that I should pour my energy into a new hobby. That all sounds well and good but I’m not really interested in joining a gym, taking yoga, or joining a mommy group. Here’s hoping that I can develop my writing skills through all my reading and continued forced suffering of anyone who reads this blog. Ha!