Hello, Double standard

Working in a rather male dominated field with very very very few females period, let alone females my age, has always come along with double standards. I'm used to them and even enjoy beating them down into pulp status. It has not come without its challenges, but I have felt a certain sense of accomplishment in it all. 

Having a baby has come half as a shock and half as "told ya" to these fabulous male chauvinists that I have come to call my colleagues. No matter what side of the easily only two sided dice that they have come to land on, they have both been entirely sure that I would slow down my travel to a point where I would have to quit and stay home with my baby and be a stay at home mom. Besides the fact that it shows just how little they actually knew me, they obviously doubted the importance of my personal career success to me as a person - mom status aside. 

While it did take me some time to get back on the road again with the frequency with which it was pre-baby, it is back. I am back. So while getting to relate to the wives and very few other females in the industry on a mom/pregnant person/share-baby-pictures-so-you're-not-a-cutthroat-bitch level, the majority of my all male review have been even more surprisingly annoying. I expected the "welcome back", "didn't expect to see you here", "you're still traveling?", BS, however the showering with compliments and commending Lyla's daddy is getting is really getting to me. 

He is a super duper dad. She just adores him and thinks he is the best and most funny person in the entire world. And he is also a pretty great husband. I understand how his work demands that he do an obnoxious amount of computer work in the early morning hours so that he can actually relax in the evenings yet still get deadlines met. I also understand that while Lyla is a generally very good sleeper she can sense a disturbance in the force and she can and will wake up early when I am not home. There is just something about not having Mama and Daddy in the same house at the same time that sends her baby spidey sense into full on red alert mode. I also know that this can cause her to have a not so easy day at daycare which makes for nearly impossible evenings in which dinner is a foreign concept before 8-9pm for any other member of the household (K9 siblings included). 

It is because I am a good mom that I know these things. Because I know these things, I prep dinners for the week in advance and put them in the freezer/refrigerator, and make sure that Lyla's outfits are hung and labeled for each day of the week I am gone, and make sure her meals are made and planned, and that formula is pre-measured for quick and easy mixing saving the hectic time of counting scoops with a screechy pterodactyl making you lose count. I make sure all of this is done because my job is important to me and because my husband and daughter are also extremely important to me. 

SO, with all that explained, why is it that my male colleagues feel the need to hail daddy as the hero? The fact that I even get asked the question of "who is with the baby while you travel?" just appalls me. If a mom is expected to do all of the "with the baby" stuff while the traditional breadwinner and traveler is jet-setting, why is it so ridiculous to believe that the dad should not be able to handle things just the same? 

I completely realize I live in the real world and that sexism and gender role stereotyping are very alive and real, I am not only irritated for myself but also for my husband. I am no less a mother for being an assertive woman in a role traditionally not held by women and my husband is no less a man for taking a seriously active role with his daughter.